CRITICAL CONNECTIONS

Surprising Ties We May Have In Our History

I sometimes wonder if we’d treat each other better if we gave more time to talking with people, letting conversations flow & discuss-document our histories. Maybe we would, maybe we wouldn’t. However, if we discussed & documented our memories & histories, I bet we’d at least discover just how weaved together we are. Many times, I’ve found out our lives & destinies are intertwined in ways we can’t comprehend.

My favorite “small world story” happened during my October 2006 road trip out west. Tuesday evening, 10/17/2006, I stopped in Oklahoma City OK. I arranged a group dinner for several people from different message boards. We had a wonderful meal with great conversation, but the most interesting part of the evening came when we discovered 1 of them had lived in Ames OK, where my grandfather, Virgil Weimer, pastored the Church of the Brethren there & taught in the local High School. When I mentioned Gramps’ name to Dennis D (whom, at the time, I had known for over 3 years through an automotive-related message board) as we walked out of the restaurant, he froze in his tracks, turned to look at me & said: “Your grandfather taught me in high school!” He also remembered my grandmother, Merle Weimer (Grammy), 2 uncles, Dennis & David, & vaguely remembered my Aunt, Chris, & Mom, Cathy.

Since then, we’ve kept in touch & I’ve stopped to see Dennis D during later road trips, including my September 2009 Route 66 road trip & my last road trip, 2011’s Coast-to-Coast journey. But, a letter I discovered mid-September 2015 sparked further discussion, memories & connections. I was reviewing papers I had saved from my grandparents’ “collection” & found a letter my Mom had written to them, 03/25/1971. I wasn’t really reading the letters, just organizing them. Yet, this particular letter literally fell open & when “Ames, Okla.” caught my eye, I remembered how hearing that name during the October 2006 conversation in Oklahoma City OK led to the small-world realization. So, I stopped to read it. This passage piqued my interest:

“Do you recognize the name [James Reed] on the enclosed business card? You should; you knew the man in Ames, Okla. He was the pastor of the Christian Church when you — I should say — we were there.
Ron Petry was in New York yesterday & happened to get in the same cab as James Reed. I don’t know how they got on the subject, but it came out that Mr. Reed had known our family in Oklahoma and were very good friends with you two while we were in Ames. He also mentioned that he was here at the offices [Church Of The Brethren General Offices, Elgin IL] about 3 years ago for some conference & knew that I was here then (he might have been thinking of Chris, too) but he never did introduce himself. And I doubt if I would have remembered him by just looking at him.
This intrigues me to no end, to think that someone that you had known way back when — 15 years ago at least — just happened to be talking to a staff member [Ron Petry] here at the offices who knows your daughter, if not you 2 personally. Well, anyway, happy memories! I knew you would enjoy the flashback!”

After I read Mom’s letter a couple times & got chills at how similar the letter sounded to my original in-person meeting with Dennis D, I stopped what I was doing & shared the letter with Mom. After our brief discussion, I decided to send an Email to Dennis D to see if the name James Reed rang a bell to him. I did just that later in the day, & that Email query led to a neat string of Emails about vintage small-town Ames OK between myself, Dennis D, Mom & Uncle Dennis.

Even though Dennis D was a member of the same Christian Church, he doesn’t remember James Reed. However, his interests were more in a young lady he was dating at the time. That young lady’s sister was in Uncle Dennis’ class &, with him, part of a quartet that sang at their 8th grade graduation in 1956; the organizer of that group was Grammy!

During the time the conversational Emails were going back & forth, Dennis D spent some time in Ames with an old school friend, James Hill. Back in the day, Dennis D & James H played guitars & sang at the school & around town for birthdays, church, etc., including some TV appearances. James’ Dad, Elmer, farmed southeast of Ames & married Marjorie Sturgeon. James’ younger brother, Doug, was a master gunsmith & bow maker; his other brother, Steve, is a computer guru in Edmond OK.

While the names James H, Elmer & Marjorie didn’t ring a bell for Mom, she recalled Gramps & Grammy knew & were friends with Ted & Rose Sturgeon, who had a daughter, Marilyn, owned the only drug store in town & may’ve been the same generation as Elmer & Marjorie. Back in the day, Rose & Grammy sang in a group of 8 ladies, a double quartet which sang a cappella, to which Mom had to go with many times. Rose also gave my Uncle David his weekly shots for having low Vitamin B12 & then “treated” him to comic books with half the page torn off so he could have them without charge.

Meanwhile, Marilyn was in class with Dennis D (until Ted, Rose & Marilyn moved to Enid OK during their senior year). Marilyn, James H, Dennis D & Joyce Suit had a quartet that sang & played at school & on TV; as it turns out, Rose was their mentor. Adding to the memories of the Sturgeons, Uncle Dennis noted they had 1 of the only working TV sets in the area, & he watched the 1952 Republican Convention & Eisenhower’s Acceptance speech. Also, Dennis D & Mom remember Rose Sturgeon’s parents, Mr. & Mrs. Moyers, who lived in a huge house with a huge garden (in which Gramps & Grammy also had a small garden). Mom remembers being able to walk around town by herself at the age of 3 & how long the walk to Moyers’ home seemed to be, even though it was merely a half block from their home!

An interesting aside about Joyce Suit, whose family lived a bit east & south of Ames. She had 2 younger brothers: Rex & Ronnie. Rex was in Uncle Dennis’ class. Uncle Dennis visited with Rex at a reunion luncheon in Ames, ~5 years ago.

Before moving to Enid, Dennis D & his family lived in 4 different houses in Ames, 1951-56. His Dad ran the sand pit operation [now known as Chrystal Lake, surrounded by many nice homes], where their last house was located. 1 of their 4 houses had no running water & had an old hand pump outside the kitchen door. At the sand pit house, they finally had hot & cold running water & an indoor toilet, but his Dad had to build & install a septic tank.

Gramps & Grammy moved to Ames in 1942 when Gramps took the summer pastorate at the Church of the Brethren there right after his Bethany Theological Seminary (IL) graduation. At the time, Grammy was pregnant with Uncle Dennis; she stayed in Oklahoma City OK until Uncle Dennis was born in July, then joined Gramps in Ames. What was supposed to be a summer pastorate turned into 14 years, during which time, my Uncle David, Aunt Chris & Mom were born. Gramps took on teaching as a 2nd job to earn extra money, receiving his teacher’s certificate & an advanced degree from Phillips University (Enid OK). That, of course, led to him teaching Dennis D in high school! Gramps also tested cows’ milk for area farmers. Over the years, Gramps’ health declined, & the doctor advised him to choose between teaching & preaching. He chose preaching, & the family moved to Haxtun CO in mid-late 1956.

In spring 1956, Dennis D graduated high school. At the time, his brother, Lanny (who died in 2012) was in 7th grade; his brother, Michael, was in 2nd grade; & his sister, Debbie, was 2 years old. That same year, Mom was also in 2nd grade, but doesn’t remember Dennis D’s brother, Michael. Uncle Dennis was in 8th grade; Uncle David was in 6th grade; & Aunt Chris was in 5th grade.

School teachers Dennis D, Uncle Dennis & Mom remembered as being instrumental in shaping their lives include:
Harvey Hammer
Mrs. Reisdorph
W.D. Sumner
Mrs. Jordan (who may’ve taught in grade & high school)
Mrs. Umdenstock (whose son, Mike, was in Mom’s class & was killed in Vietnam)
Mrs. Fischer (who, according to Dennis D, taught English, was a brilliant lady & was his class sponsor his Senior year; she was the wife of Kenneth, a farmer-rancher just southwest of Ames & hosted rodeos on their land which featured a big cross & adjoined 1 of the places Dennis D’s family lived, the 1 with no running water)
Charles Weber (relative of Dennis D, with Charles being his Mom’s 1st cousin; interestingly, a family of Webers were next-door neighbors of Gramps & Grammy)
Howard Gautier
& Marie Gautier (whose daughter was a good friend of my Aunt Chris)

What Dennis D remembers very well from the mid-1950s was that “times were very hard, money scarce, & most of the folks I knew struggled to make ends meet, but most of us were in that same boat.” He also worked for farmers (including his Grandad) & made enough money to buy school clothes & an old 1930 Chevrolet for $50! Other memories include eating a lot of game (squirrel, rabbit, quail, duck, fish, etc.) to supplement the grocery budget & going to Enid a couple times a month to buy a “big bunch” of groceries (during which time he & his brother sat in the car & watched people). “In those days, it seemed everyone went to town on Saturday.”

My Mom echoed those memories, writing: “Mom & Dad also struggled to make ends meet. Many a time we had mush for supper (dinner?) or other money-saving meal. I didn’t feel deprived, though, & I don’t think my siblings did either, because we didn’t know anything different! It was an idyllic time in my life & one that I’ll always remember!”

As for the town, Ames OK has changed a lot in 50 years, & the discussion reads almost like a song:
the old Holston grocery & the building next to it burned a couple of years ago;
the old Suits Cafe has been converted to some sort of commercial building;
the other old grocery store is now a cafe (where Dennis D & James H ate lunch during their 2015 visit);
the old school house is gone;
the underground school they built later is now a race car museum;
the old Legion Hut is gone & a war memorial is there now, with an “Astrobleme” museum next to it (seems Ames was hit by a comet some 450 million years ago which facilitated the big oil field there);
the new Legion Hut is where Dennis D remembers the locker plant was located;
the Christian Church & the Baptist Church are still standing;
the Church of the Brethren building where Gramps pastored is no longer there;
& Ted & Rose Sturgeons’ house burned years ago.

When Mom & Dad visited Ames in 2006, they were told Ames’ centennial celebration saw 5,000 or more people descend upon the tiny town, mostly in response to an invitation from current Ames citizens. Mind boggling to think how crowded Ames must’ve been & where all the attendees stayed during the weekend!

I know this is a long read to make the point of how intertwined our lives are without us realizing it, but it is interesting & intriguing. I wonder what connections with family & friends you don’t know about … yet!?

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